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• Having Tough Conversations: Partnership to End Addiction

  • What should I do before talking to my child?

  • Get on the same page as your child's other parent or caregiver

  • Set Goals

  • Intervention strategies: Sample dialogues

  • Do's and don'ts for a good conversation

  • Start talking AND listening

  • What should I do if I get a flat-out denial?

  • How do I make sure that my child actually changes their behavior?

  • What if I realize that my child needs outside help?

• The Recovery Village: What to do if your child is using drugs
   

  • Remain Calm

    • Substance abuse can tear families apart. Addressing a serious drug or alcohol abuse issue within the family puts parents to the test as much as anything ever will. But it’s important that, above all else, you remain calm. If you suspect there’s an underlying substance abuse issue with your teen, it’s not the end of the world.
       

      • No matter what, this is still your child; how you react can mean all the difference in their recovery.

        • Respond with love.

        • Don’t blame yourself.

        • Determine what needs to be done.

        • You are not alone.
           

  • Talk to Them

    • The subject matter is extremely delicate, and teenagers with a substance habit are already in a fragile state. Don’t assume you know everything that they’re going through and struggling with. It’s okay that you don’t inherently “get them.” Just always keep lines of communication open so that it’s constantly reinforced that you’re someone they can trust and come to with anything they’re going through.
       

    • When you decide to start talking to your children about drugs, remember that there’s a huge difference between confronting addiction versus having a conversation about it. Avoid confrontations at all costs.
       

    • Psychologists often recommend that the best approach to getting a teenager to open up about the topic is to ask them about their friends. By finding out what they think about friends who are using or getting in trouble for using, you may gain insight into how they feel about the topic.

• Don’t act on pure emotion. Don’t judge them. But understand that where the conversation goes will likely determine your next steps.

• How To Tell If Your Teenager Is Using Drugs

  • Your teenager goes through changes that are a normal part of adolescence. But some changes are windows into more sinister things — like experimentation with drugs or alcohol.

  • Take note of obvious changes to their behavior, appearance and overall health. Be aware of the major signs of substance abuse. Look for alcohol or drug paraphernalia (physical evidence) in their room, their laundry, their school supplies or around the house. Some teens are better than others at keeping their habits a secret and covering up their symptoms. It’s up to you to be diligent in your observations, without jumping to many conclusions.

• Don’t Do This Yourself

  • You’re not a superhero. Nobody expects you to be. As signs start to build, reach out for help in the matter. Assuming you can help your teenager by yourself can be overwhelming in situations like these, and can set you — and more importantly, your teen — up for failure. Realize you are not alone, and the challenges ahead can start to appear more and more conquerable.
     

  • Help can be in the form of:

    • Immediate family

    • Family friends

    • Your child’s friends

    • Teachers or school counselors

    • Doctors

    • Intervention specialists
      
      Building a support network will help you keep a level head, get various perspectives on the situation and make the best decision for moving forward.

• Don’t Enable Them

  • Often, parents of teens wrapped up in substance abuse slip into enabling. This is when the detrimental behavior is implicitly accepted and allowed to continue because a parent is in denial of the circumstances their teen finds themselves in.

  • Enabling looks like this:

    • Ignoring the addict’s negative or potentially dangerous behavior

    • Difficulty expressing emotions

    • Prioritizing the addict’s needs before her own

    • Acting out of fear

    • Lying to others to cover the addict’s behavior

    • Blaming people or situations other than the addict

    • Resenting the addict

• Does My Teen Need to See a Professional?

  • If you notice signs of substance use in your teen, contact a professional right away. The longer that substance abuse is allowed to take place, the more difficult it becomes for your teen to kick the habit. Your family doctor can screen your child and determine whether they’re simply experimenting or suffering from a substance use disorder. Teens with mild substance issues can often recover through outpatient treatment, but deeply-rooted substance use disorders usually require inpatient rehab treatment.